Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

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Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. par Mind Map: Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

1. Concerning Oaths

1.1. Staying true to yourself: Temptation comes in many forms. Some forms of temptation may tempt you to go against your values to conform to society. I try my very hardest to not do this although it proves difficult for I am a teenage girl going through high school. There have been many situations where I have felt pressured to do or say something but I always try to stick to my morals and not conform.

1.2. Promises: Anyone who knows me personally knows that I value the idea of promise. To me a promise is an oath that will not be broken no matter what. If a promise to me is broken, my level of trust in that person has decreased and so has my level of respect. If someone is to make a promise, they must be intent on keeping it. I am very careful with the words I use. I will never use the word promise if I don’t have true intentions in keeping it. You can learn a lot about people by the words they use; one of the words to look for in their language is the word promise. Do they overuse it and never go through with what they have promised? Do they use it so rarely and limit its usage to only important oaths they intend on keeping? I tend to surround myself with people who do the latter. I equate false promises with false hope. Hope is hard enough to come by in today’s world, so to give someone false hope is just absolutely cruel.

1.3. Honesty: Honesty is truly the best policy. I value honesty within other people and I value honesty within myself. I haven’t always been an transparent/honest person, I would say I have adopted this new-found honesty within the last 6 months. Before I would lie to protect myself in scenarios that could possibly cause conflict and confrontation. Conflict and confrontation used to be a big fear of mine. However, since then I have learned that they can be a very good thing that allows for people to grow and learn. Now I am very honest with others and more importantly, myself. I do not make excuses for myself and I always try to be accountable for my actions. I want to continue to live an honest life for I believe that lying will affect your life in the long term as eventually every lie will catch up to you.

2. Judging Others

2.1. Judging a book: There’s a famous quote that is that “you should never judge a book by its cover,” and this is something everyone should try to do. When I was in grade 6 I moved to a new school and knew absolutely nobody. Being the insecure girl that I was, I was automatically scared of all of the really pretty girls. There was a girl named Olivia who was the prettiest and most popular girl in the whole school. I assumed because she was the prettiest she must’ve been the meanest as well. I was very wrong. She turned out to be the nicest girl who welcomed me instantly when I had no friends. She was an amazing friend to me and I was so grateful to have met her.

2.2. Putting people down: I think that how you treat others says a lot about who you are as a person. Obviously, I’m extremely far from perfect but I try my best to not be mean to people. I like to joke around a lot but joking aside I would never purposely say anything to hurt someone’s feelings.

2.3. Generalizations: I think that everyone is guilty of generalizing in their life. I for sure have done it. An example of generalization that I truly believed was that, “if you’re pretty then you must have an ugly personality”. Now that I’m older I’ve realized that that is so untrue. All of my closest friends are all so beautiful and they all have beautiful personalities. In opposition, I have learned that you could be considered “ugly” and still have an ugly personality.

3. Concerning Anger

3.1. Being the bigger person: Being the bigger person is a hard thing to do in life. It is definitely easier to take the low road. An example of when I was the bigger person is when I had an altercation with a friend. Me and my friend Gaby weren’t in a good place in our friendship because I was upset at her for leaving me alone in Hull one night that we went out. We didn’t talk for 2 weeks after that incident but her and her boyfriend of 2 years Tyler broke up and I could only imagine the pain she was going through. I instantly texted her without hesitation and was there for support and as an outlet for her to talk to. Despite me being upset with her I still felt it was only right of me to reach out to her and support her.

3.2. Holding a grudge: I am not one to hold a grudge. I believe that once an issue is resolved you should just move on. An example of this is when I had a conflict with a guy named Owen. We had a huge conflict and it was never officially resolved. Although he never apologized for the awful things he said to me, I still have moved on and forgiven him because I know he said those things out of anger and pain. Holding a grudge against him would only cause more distress for me and him.

3.3. Forgiveness: The ability to forgive someone is a hard trait to acquire. I personally aim to forgive everyone because everyone has their reasons for why they do the things they do. A personal example of this is when I dated a guy named Matt. Matt was my first real relationship and it was very impactful on my future relationships. He wasn’t the best guy but I didn’t know that at the time. He was rude, controlling, possessive, forceful, and manipulative. My friends warned me of all his flaws but I ignored them as a stupid teenager would do. Near the end of our relationship things got worse and it eventually ended with him breaking my heart. After we weren’t together I realized all of the things he had done were in no way okay. I struggled to trust any guy I became close to and always pushed them away. After about a year of struggling with personal relationships and intimacy I realized why I was acting the way I was. It was because of him. I then learned to forgive him as well as forgive myself. I had blamed myself for everything going on when it had nothing to do with me at all. I then forgave him for I realized there is a reason why he is the way he is. He must’ve been hurt as well in order for him to hurt me the way he did. That is why I forgive him.

4. Ask, Search, Knock

4.1. Post-Secondary Schools: Deciding on what university to go to and what to take is a huge decision that is difficult for a 17-year-old to make. I was debating just taking the easy road and taking an arts degree of even taking a year off to just do whatever I want. However, I did not do either of these things. I decided to push myself to my limits and apply for an Honours degree in Neuroscience and Mental Health at Carleton. I’ve always been interested in people and the brain so I’m happy that I found a program that genuinely intrigues and excites me. I’m super excited for what my post-secondary experience has in store for me.

4.2. Help in general: I have been suffering with major depression since I started high school. From grades 7-9 I kept my struggles to myself and my only outlet was self-harm which was extremely unhealthy. A suicide attempt in grade 9 which ended with my friend saving my life was what made me decide to reach out for help. I never wanted to cause such pain to my parents and I was ashamed of my feelings. I went to a psychologist and then to another and then to another. I pretended that the therapy was working to relieve the stress of my parents. In grade 11 I finally snapped and told them every feeling I had been hiding. I went to a clinical psychologist and underwent CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy). It didn’t work. My psychologist told me that I was special because most teens just need a bit of CBT. I didn’t feel very special. I was then transferred to the Royal Ottawa and underwent psychiatric treatment. I was diagnosed with major depression and hand in hand with that; a small anxiety disorder. I’ve been switched on and off of different medications for over a year and it is still a process to find one that will help me. I try to muster as much hope as I can every day that one day I will be normal. Seeking help was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my entire life but I am so grateful that I did because I fear where I would be if I hadn’t.

4.3. Friends: I would say that I am currently in the search for true friendships. High-school is a journey of discovering who you are and I would argue that I am pretty in touch with who I am as a person. Since I know what kind of person I am, I know what kind of people I want to surround myself with. I have a few close friends but I want to meet more interesting people that share some of my views on life. I’m excited to meet new people as I step away from high-school and into a bigger world.

5. The Narrow Gate

5.1. Tough Decisions: Life is full of hard decisions but my hardest one I had to make by far was my choice to not pursue basketball in post-secondary. Basketball has been a huge part of my life ever since I can remember. It’s always been an outlet for me during the hardest of times. However, in my last few years of playing it’s been putting more stress on me as it gets more serious and intense. With all of the things going on in my life regarding my mental illness, pursuing basketball at Carleton would probably be a lot for me to handle. I don’t think I would have struggled with the basketball portion, but eventually my fatigue and mood would be affected and my health and marks would suffer.

5.2. Peer pressure: Peer pressure is everywhere in high-school. It basically is incorporated into the curriculum. I try my best not to conform to this. My mom always tells me to be my own person and to not be a follower and I think I have done a pretty good job thus far in my life. A specific example is the usage of drugs. There have been countless situations where I’ve had to turn down drugs or cigarettes. It is really difficult to say no to because everyone hounds you to do it and they say things like, “you’re so boring,” or, “you’re lame”. However, I’ve learned to ignore these people and just sit in the corner at parties and eat gold fish crackers (I’m not lying).

5.3. Not being a follower: It’s very easy to follow along what everyone does in high-school but I consider myself more of a leader. I try to lead by example in sports no matter what sport it is. I also do not follow what everyone else is doing in social situations. An example of this is when someone in my grade posted a very mean video on snapchat of a girl I know. No one said anyone to him because they were scared that maybe he would do the same thing to them. I decided that enough was enough of him getting away with his bullying and I stood up to him. I sent him a message telling him that even if he thinks it is a joke, that it is not a joke to the girl he is hurting and he should really think before he posts. Of course I got some backlash from him and his friends but he ended up deleting the snapchat.